Do you remember doing it? I do, although there were several different types of equipment in the school playground allowing myself and other children altered angles to our world. Yea, I remember the swing-sets, the seesaws, the merry go rounds, as well as the monkey bars. The monkey bar was my favorite by far. If you think about it, a set of monkey bars could completely change how you see the world.
On the swing-set, you could power yourself back n forth going as high as you want while imagining you were flying. Many times I would just swing and sing songs. There isn't really a lot of effort involved as long as your feet touch the ground. Of course there were the small swings and the larger ones for the bigger kids. With my long limbs, it wasn't hard to decide which one I glided back and forth on while singing "Raindrops keep falling on my head..." There were a few times I fell out of the swing but it was usually when I was attempting some type of trick like leaning way back and lifting my legs around the chains. The best part of that was most times there were enough dirt under you when you came flipping out to keep from having too many scrapes. The sky always seemed so big above and the landings normally smooth with a leap out of the seat.
The seesaws were a little more tricky because it required a partner. It wasn't like you could go to the park by yourself and seesaw endlessly. It took the power of another sitting on the other end and powering with kicks to push yourself up in the air while waiting for your friend to do the same. I loved it when we attempted balancing even if our weights were different. The only accidents involved would be when a mischievous friend would jump off the end to send you crashing down on your booty. Seesaws were fun but your imagination was limited dependent on the other person.
Then there were the merry go rounds. Most of the time, I was the pusher and even today there is a reason for me to stay off the spinning Caterpillar ride at the annual fair. Every now and then it was camaraderie to join my friends on the wooden ride but I hated it if the pusher was strong enough to spin it so fast that vertigo set in. Yet with a good strong pusher, the ride filled to capacity if enough were around. If I went to the playground alone, the ride was okay because you could spin it and jump on and never really have to worry about it getting out of control. The only pain I remember from it was the occasional hit of the bars if you got too close or weren't paying attention. The old wooden one in the school play ground now seems like a torture wheel and I would be hard pressed to put my grandchild on it.
Then there are the monkey bars which come in different shapes. There are the kinds that many athletes use today in competitions such a Ninja Warrior shows or Spartan Races. They look like three ladders connected. Two vertical and one horizontal on top. There are the complex kind with many bars connected to form rectangles and square configurations to climb all over, in, and out. Then there are the octagon or dome shaped ones. That was my favorite because you could imagine yourself a house, cocoon, or a fort. Or it could quickly become a mountain to trek over and see the whole expansive play ground. And every now and then you could practice your hanging upside down skills. The best part of that was it didn't have to start from the top bars. The feat could be attempted from the lower bars giving the feeling of safety and confidence to proceed higher. All it took was to loop your legs in and over the bars and slowly allow yourself to look down. And if you fall, it was normally a sandy ground stirred up by the others that did it as well. You could do it alone or along side a friend. It didn't require any coordination other than just holding on with your legs. Smiles ensue and giggles begin. Blood rushing to your head as you recognize the earth below and the rest of your body pretends to be walking on clouds. Moments of clarity and still being quite aware that you can't do it forever but that you have done it for now. The world upside down.
Some may only enjoy the feeling of swinging back and forth, leaning back, eyes open, watching only the sky above. Looking ahead and far into the atmosphere above allowing day dreams and aspirations of where to go or who to be. Many may want to have the balance of seesawing and the dependence of another to not fall or fail. The weight will determine the impact of the fall. And there are those who can enjoy the spin, dizzily enjoying the feeling of a world spinning round and round with an occasional stop before the next strong push.
Looking at the world upside down was the moments on the playground that I remember the most. It was the moments that not everyone tried to capture. For me, swinging fueled my dreams, seesawing developed the importance of connecting and keeping a balance, and the merry go rounds invoked the sense of power of one for many. But the monkey bars allowed me for a few moments to not see things as they really are. To take a moment for a different perspective. Just hanging there for a moment. Nothing important to think about but only a giggle, a smile at the upside down world. A world made right by just grabbing the bars and pulling yourself back up.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Let Go
So it has been 4 months since I left my job. I haven't missed a meal. Nor have I missed those costly espressos. And needless to say, I haven't missed getting in office casual dress wear and driving in to sit in a small cubicle space without windows to listen to long teleconference calls that very often left me wondering why I was on the call.
Yes, I enjoyed the money, the building of my retirement, and sometimes the adult exchanges with good friends on not only work topics but also our own philosophical discussions. Today, I spend most of my time talking to dogs. They listen really well.
Yes, I miss the challenges of creating new ways of documenting within a very complex system that supposedly should help in the overall care of patients. That was my main reason for leaving the clinical nurse arena and becoming an analyst. I believed in the product. And yes, I miss the fixes and the accolades from successfully navigating through the medical professional world of data. But the moments I miss the most were the occasional email which would come in from someone you were not expecting, that acknowledged how important you were as a member of a team. The real human emotion of gratitude.
Today, I receive word that a dear friend from my youth and my young adult life passed away. My first thoughts go out to her family and neighbor friends who cared so deeply for her as she entered this last phase of life and subsequently passed into the next. I reflect and have decided I have no regrets and no desire to entertain chaos in my life and to set this thinking as a memorial to her. And as I remember her, I once again reach out to memories that have directed me to be open and ready to let go of things that do not make me smile and embrace opportunities that give more life to an already abundant life. You see, I came to Florida knowing I would see old friends again, but I didn't think that a death of one would come so quickly. She had been a friend from long ago and somehow we reconnected only a few months ago. That is when see told me about her condition.
If I had continued to work or seek other work, I may not have gone to visit her and would have missed a last moment to say I love you face to face. I would have probably put it off thinking I had time. She taught me more in the last two months that many friends have in a multitude of years. The most memorable thing she said to me recently is "I had a good life, I am okay with this." I hope to pass that on with living the life towards this.
Now, not everyone has the opportunity to take a break from work but everyone has the opportunity to change how they think. I recognize how fortunate I am to have been given this time to think on good things, to care, to listen, and to be thankful and I really believe I allowed work to interfere with allowing this. When my husband first mentioned coming to Florida, I knew right away I would no longer be working at the same place and that starting over with a new organization might take some getting use to. That is how I approached this move. Never once did I really think I wouldn't be working by January 2016. Taking the rest of last year off was easy but as the end of the year neared, I began to become a little anxious about money, how quickly technology changes, how much I might forget, and if I could get a job like I had. I allowed doubt and negativity to start. Then when I faced the reality of how quickly life in general can change, how quickly your health can go, and how quickly you can lose a loved one that I then decided to stop and breath just a little more. Breathing comes easily without effort. Life should too. I stopped fretting and I let go.
There are some that would have described me as a workaholic up until I left my position. There may be some that wonder if I am bored by not working and wonder when I will return. Maybe later. For now I believe I have been given this time to just let go. It is something not given to many and I am thankful that I have the option for now. So I should take it.
One of my favorite quotes is from Ray Bradbury, "love what you do, and do what you love." But the rest of that quote is this, "Don't listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it. You do what you want, what you love. Imagination should be the center of your life.”
I imagine that this year is the year for me to grow in ways no one else can imagine. Watch me as I let go. You can too.
Yes, I enjoyed the money, the building of my retirement, and sometimes the adult exchanges with good friends on not only work topics but also our own philosophical discussions. Today, I spend most of my time talking to dogs. They listen really well.
Yes, I miss the challenges of creating new ways of documenting within a very complex system that supposedly should help in the overall care of patients. That was my main reason for leaving the clinical nurse arena and becoming an analyst. I believed in the product. And yes, I miss the fixes and the accolades from successfully navigating through the medical professional world of data. But the moments I miss the most were the occasional email which would come in from someone you were not expecting, that acknowledged how important you were as a member of a team. The real human emotion of gratitude.
Today, I receive word that a dear friend from my youth and my young adult life passed away. My first thoughts go out to her family and neighbor friends who cared so deeply for her as she entered this last phase of life and subsequently passed into the next. I reflect and have decided I have no regrets and no desire to entertain chaos in my life and to set this thinking as a memorial to her. And as I remember her, I once again reach out to memories that have directed me to be open and ready to let go of things that do not make me smile and embrace opportunities that give more life to an already abundant life. You see, I came to Florida knowing I would see old friends again, but I didn't think that a death of one would come so quickly. She had been a friend from long ago and somehow we reconnected only a few months ago. That is when see told me about her condition.
If I had continued to work or seek other work, I may not have gone to visit her and would have missed a last moment to say I love you face to face. I would have probably put it off thinking I had time. She taught me more in the last two months that many friends have in a multitude of years. The most memorable thing she said to me recently is "I had a good life, I am okay with this." I hope to pass that on with living the life towards this.
Now, not everyone has the opportunity to take a break from work but everyone has the opportunity to change how they think. I recognize how fortunate I am to have been given this time to think on good things, to care, to listen, and to be thankful and I really believe I allowed work to interfere with allowing this. When my husband first mentioned coming to Florida, I knew right away I would no longer be working at the same place and that starting over with a new organization might take some getting use to. That is how I approached this move. Never once did I really think I wouldn't be working by January 2016. Taking the rest of last year off was easy but as the end of the year neared, I began to become a little anxious about money, how quickly technology changes, how much I might forget, and if I could get a job like I had. I allowed doubt and negativity to start. Then when I faced the reality of how quickly life in general can change, how quickly your health can go, and how quickly you can lose a loved one that I then decided to stop and breath just a little more. Breathing comes easily without effort. Life should too. I stopped fretting and I let go.
There are some that would have described me as a workaholic up until I left my position. There may be some that wonder if I am bored by not working and wonder when I will return. Maybe later. For now I believe I have been given this time to just let go. It is something not given to many and I am thankful that I have the option for now. So I should take it.
One of my favorite quotes is from Ray Bradbury, "love what you do, and do what you love." But the rest of that quote is this, "Don't listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it. You do what you want, what you love. Imagination should be the center of your life.”
I imagine that this year is the year for me to grow in ways no one else can imagine. Watch me as I let go. You can too.
Friday, January 8, 2016
My Running Dogs
Running with Bella and Bodhi
The best part of moving to sunny Florida (besides the beaches, the warm weather, the flip flops) is the running outside. At least for me. Oh, I still use my treadmill. Yes, there are still some of us crazy runners who use a treadmill for what it is built for instead of a clothes rack. But running on it in my garage back in Anchorage became almost a chore. I knew I needed to run but there were days that the icy roads, the winter darkness, and the critters that roamed my neighborhood made it easier to jump on my trusty treadmill. The biggest drawback to using one is only one at a time can run on it and my dogs just give me the ho hum look. They wait patiently while they hear the belt move, the music play, the beeps when I change incline or increase speed. Then when the motor stops, that is their cue that I am done and hopefully they get their long awaited attention from mom.
I love running with them most days but I have had to change how much I run with them for the following reasons.
In our Florida neighborhood, they must be on a leash. I think this is reasonable considering the traffic. There aren't many sidewalks but the streets are wide enough for plenty of room for me and the pups as long as they stay with me. But I can't count on that and I want them safe so say they stay on the leash.
We would use the leashes occasionally on the Anchorage hillside neighborhood but most days we could trust them to stay with us. Especially running them off leash on the trails. Bella (the Jack) occasionally had to be put back on but Bodhi (the Angel Lab) was for the most part a loyal runner. So the habit of running with them is more less always with a leash. Here lies the problem. Have you ever tried running two dogs with leashes? It sounds easy. If you think it is, let me loan you my two dogs for a try out. They love it and have no problem wanting to go even it if means a leash. Bella tends to resist the application of her harness but eventually she gives in when she started realizing I would leave her behind if she didn't get it on. Both run fairly well together even though there is an obvious difference in the length of their legs. Bodhi is such a great sprinter. She can fly when she is chasing down balls or flying through the air to catch a Frisbee. But when running on leash, she sets a nice pace with whomever she is next to. Bella on the other hand, she is the muscle. That is why I put a harness on her. Before the harness, she pulled so hard that it looked like she was always choking. With the harness, she still has an extreme pull but you don't have to listen to her hacking as she is running.
So why do I not run them each day I run? First of all, I am not really that fast anyhow but they are. They actually tend to run best with Chris. His pace is much faster and keeps them from getting side tracked by smells and squirrels. Yes, the once or twice a week that I take them out, I find my pace picks up a little and I normally love it when they do decide to stop to sniff a fire hydrant. So when I decide to run with them, it has to be on a short run day for me or either I run with them out and back two miles and allow them to do what ever they want. Stop, sniff, poop, but still they aren't allowed to drag me chasing squirrels. Once we were running along and one of many squirrels that taunt them ran out across the road. Needless to say, Bella is the first to dart towards them. Then Bodhi gets her excitement on and pulls even harder. I wouldn't say I am terribly weak and I can restrain Bella at that moment but not Bodhi. When the moment came that the taunting squirrel crossed the road, Bella pulled and them Bodhi pulled and then mama followed. An Angel was watching over us as a car was also coming. From now on, I hold Bodhi leash with one finger and Bella's with a tighter grip. After talking with a friend about her back injury from one of her dogs pulling her quickly, I decided if I wanted to keep them running, then I would need to figure out the safest way. I stay off busy streets, and stop them regularly if more cars are coming by. As for the squirrel chasing, I take them to the off leash park near by. The squirrels still taunt them there.
The best part of moving to sunny Florida (besides the beaches, the warm weather, the flip flops) is the running outside. At least for me. Oh, I still use my treadmill. Yes, there are still some of us crazy runners who use a treadmill for what it is built for instead of a clothes rack. But running on it in my garage back in Anchorage became almost a chore. I knew I needed to run but there were days that the icy roads, the winter darkness, and the critters that roamed my neighborhood made it easier to jump on my trusty treadmill. The biggest drawback to using one is only one at a time can run on it and my dogs just give me the ho hum look. They wait patiently while they hear the belt move, the music play, the beeps when I change incline or increase speed. Then when the motor stops, that is their cue that I am done and hopefully they get their long awaited attention from mom.
In our Florida neighborhood, they must be on a leash. I think this is reasonable considering the traffic. There aren't many sidewalks but the streets are wide enough for plenty of room for me and the pups as long as they stay with me. But I can't count on that and I want them safe so say they stay on the leash.
We would use the leashes occasionally on the Anchorage hillside neighborhood but most days we could trust them to stay with us. Especially running them off leash on the trails. Bella (the Jack) occasionally had to be put back on but Bodhi (the Angel Lab) was for the most part a loyal runner. So the habit of running with them is more less always with a leash. Here lies the problem. Have you ever tried running two dogs with leashes? It sounds easy. If you think it is, let me loan you my two dogs for a try out. They love it and have no problem wanting to go even it if means a leash. Bella tends to resist the application of her harness but eventually she gives in when she started realizing I would leave her behind if she didn't get it on. Both run fairly well together even though there is an obvious difference in the length of their legs. Bodhi is such a great sprinter. She can fly when she is chasing down balls or flying through the air to catch a Frisbee. But when running on leash, she sets a nice pace with whomever she is next to. Bella on the other hand, she is the muscle. That is why I put a harness on her. Before the harness, she pulled so hard that it looked like she was always choking. With the harness, she still has an extreme pull but you don't have to listen to her hacking as she is running.
So why do I not run them each day I run? First of all, I am not really that fast anyhow but they are. They actually tend to run best with Chris. His pace is much faster and keeps them from getting side tracked by smells and squirrels. Yes, the once or twice a week that I take them out, I find my pace picks up a little and I normally love it when they do decide to stop to sniff a fire hydrant. So when I decide to run with them, it has to be on a short run day for me or either I run with them out and back two miles and allow them to do what ever they want. Stop, sniff, poop, but still they aren't allowed to drag me chasing squirrels. Once we were running along and one of many squirrels that taunt them ran out across the road. Needless to say, Bella is the first to dart towards them. Then Bodhi gets her excitement on and pulls even harder. I wouldn't say I am terribly weak and I can restrain Bella at that moment but not Bodhi. When the moment came that the taunting squirrel crossed the road, Bella pulled and them Bodhi pulled and then mama followed. An Angel was watching over us as a car was also coming. From now on, I hold Bodhi leash with one finger and Bella's with a tighter grip. After talking with a friend about her back injury from one of her dogs pulling her quickly, I decided if I wanted to keep them running, then I would need to figure out the safest way. I stay off busy streets, and stop them regularly if more cars are coming by. As for the squirrel chasing, I take them to the off leash park near by. The squirrels still taunt them there.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Decisions.....Decisions
What do I do now?
So here is the last day of the year. I said I would take time off for the remainder of the year after I left PHS. It has been quite nice. I have mulled over a few things that I might do. For this post, I am just going to list them so I can visually attached a desire to one or more of them. This isn't a bucket list but more of a "what TO DO" list. They are listed as I think of them and not in priority.
- Sharie
So here is the last day of the year. I said I would take time off for the remainder of the year after I left PHS. It has been quite nice. I have mulled over a few things that I might do. For this post, I am just going to list them so I can visually attached a desire to one or more of them. This isn't a bucket list but more of a "what TO DO" list. They are listed as I think of them and not in priority.
- Look for a nursing job since I now have my Florida license. I am a nurse and it would an interest me to see how much nurses make here in the South. I remember what I made back in 1997 when I left Georgia, so it would be interesting to compare.
- Volunteer as a nurse at a local hospital, races, etc. Maybe I could be of service.
- Consult as an Analyst. Not sure if this is something I need to do. It would be interesting but it would also take me away from my love for 4-5 days a week. I have already had an interview with one company and will see what the offer is. Who knows...maybe the offer would be too good to walk away from. Or they may not even make an offer.
- Train for the Ironman I have signed up for. If I don't take a job, then I actually have more time to train. There will be NO excuses. The IM is in November but it would be in my best interest to perform in a few sprints, Olympic size, and maybe even a half IM during my training year.
- Be off from work so that I can really take time to visit family, be with my dogs, travel when it is good for Chris and take care of my home. The best lawn girl, pool girl, chef, duster, and more.
- Play golf, run more, learn to kayak fish, paddle board, snorkel with spear fishing, practice my bow hunting skills, and just spend more time at the beach.
This is the list so far. Right now, number 2, 4, 5, and 6 look like great options. Feel free to add to my list.
- Sharie
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Why Do I run?
Why do I run?
I finally decided 13 years ago that I was a runner. It was after I ran my first 5k in Alaska. Training consisted of early mornings on the treadmill and an occasional afternoon neighborhood run. At that time I ran 2 miles with each episode. This wasn't the first time I was running. I enjoyed it as a young adult living in rural Georgia. Dirt roads were the common path and it was more about trying it out and not an addiction. Then when I gain a few extra pounds after the birth of my last child, I found it a quick easy way to lose the weight. Never did I study running, form, breathing or did I spend any significant money on gear. I used what I had and we really didn't have extra funds for that kind of thing.
Maybe I was bored 13 years ago. I needed something that made me feel alive. It also gave me a figure that I had never had and in the end I felt beautiful. I gained confidence. Running opened my heart to other outdoor activities. Soon I became a mountain trail hiker attempting some really awesome peaks in the Anchorage bowl as well as other areas we ventured to while fishing or hunting. The feeling I gained from trail runs or hikes just fueled a growing love/addiction to fitness.
I remember once that I was experiencing some chest cold type symptoms. It wasn't serious and didn't really feel like a cold so I went in to have it checked out. The Practitioner ordered a chest xray and a medication similar to what Asthmatics take. It helped but overall just good old fashion rest and hydration is what I believe helped in the end. Several weeks later I received mail from the health care facility the xray was taken at that "if you were recently diagnosed with COPD.....". I was somewhat alarmed so I called my provider. What she said was that the xray was read by the Radiologist and she felt that because my diaphragm flattened on inhale or exhale (not sure which one now), the reader indicated possible COPD. My provider actually called the reader to talk. She explained that I was a runner and didn't smoke and was pretty healthy. So the explanation I received was that sometimes this happens to runners. Mistaken COPD Diagnosis due to flat diaphragms. I made sure it was taken off my health records.
After that first 5k, I really started becoming interested in collecting more bibs. More 5ks until I finally attempted a half. Of course I had to ramp up my mileage. No longer could I just opt for a quick 2 miles. Longer runs came hard and still do but at the end I am always glad I did it. There were also times I would begin a run thinking I could go forever and then just wind up doing 3 or less. Regardless, that first 5k was a moment of clarity that I was needing this as a life activity.
Many moments when I have felt down and unmotivated, there has always been a video, movie, or meeting of someone who has struggled more than myself. So if I have two good legs, two good feet, good shoes, then how could I not run? Especially if someone else wanted to do it so badly. How could I not?
Since 2002, I have ran many 5ks, 10ks, Halves, a few mountain races as well as Sprint and Olympic size triathlons. What is next? Well, a marathon should be next and of course an Ironman. Why not do both? So next November, Chris and I have signed up to complete our first Ironman. As we both begin this journey, keep us in your prayers. Send us your tips and cheers. We welcome them even if we don't follow it.
As Chris states many times on our adventures in physical activities, "here comes the pain train, baby" and "pain don't hurt"!
If there is every a time when you wonder why you do something, Write down your pros and cons. Most of the time, your pros will always win out if it is especially something you love. Stay safe. Stay on left side against traffic on your runs and with traffic on your biking obeying the rules of the road at all times. Run hard, run often, and never spend too much money on gear that doesn't fit well and doesn't make you look absolutely fab.
And most of all, stay healthy!
I finally decided 13 years ago that I was a runner. It was after I ran my first 5k in Alaska. Training consisted of early mornings on the treadmill and an occasional afternoon neighborhood run. At that time I ran 2 miles with each episode. This wasn't the first time I was running. I enjoyed it as a young adult living in rural Georgia. Dirt roads were the common path and it was more about trying it out and not an addiction. Then when I gain a few extra pounds after the birth of my last child, I found it a quick easy way to lose the weight. Never did I study running, form, breathing or did I spend any significant money on gear. I used what I had and we really didn't have extra funds for that kind of thing.
Maybe I was bored 13 years ago. I needed something that made me feel alive. It also gave me a figure that I had never had and in the end I felt beautiful. I gained confidence. Running opened my heart to other outdoor activities. Soon I became a mountain trail hiker attempting some really awesome peaks in the Anchorage bowl as well as other areas we ventured to while fishing or hunting. The feeling I gained from trail runs or hikes just fueled a growing love/addiction to fitness.
I remember once that I was experiencing some chest cold type symptoms. It wasn't serious and didn't really feel like a cold so I went in to have it checked out. The Practitioner ordered a chest xray and a medication similar to what Asthmatics take. It helped but overall just good old fashion rest and hydration is what I believe helped in the end. Several weeks later I received mail from the health care facility the xray was taken at that "if you were recently diagnosed with COPD.....". I was somewhat alarmed so I called my provider. What she said was that the xray was read by the Radiologist and she felt that because my diaphragm flattened on inhale or exhale (not sure which one now), the reader indicated possible COPD. My provider actually called the reader to talk. She explained that I was a runner and didn't smoke and was pretty healthy. So the explanation I received was that sometimes this happens to runners. Mistaken COPD Diagnosis due to flat diaphragms. I made sure it was taken off my health records.
After that first 5k, I really started becoming interested in collecting more bibs. More 5ks until I finally attempted a half. Of course I had to ramp up my mileage. No longer could I just opt for a quick 2 miles. Longer runs came hard and still do but at the end I am always glad I did it. There were also times I would begin a run thinking I could go forever and then just wind up doing 3 or less. Regardless, that first 5k was a moment of clarity that I was needing this as a life activity.
Many moments when I have felt down and unmotivated, there has always been a video, movie, or meeting of someone who has struggled more than myself. So if I have two good legs, two good feet, good shoes, then how could I not run? Especially if someone else wanted to do it so badly. How could I not?
Since 2002, I have ran many 5ks, 10ks, Halves, a few mountain races as well as Sprint and Olympic size triathlons. What is next? Well, a marathon should be next and of course an Ironman. Why not do both? So next November, Chris and I have signed up to complete our first Ironman. As we both begin this journey, keep us in your prayers. Send us your tips and cheers. We welcome them even if we don't follow it.
As Chris states many times on our adventures in physical activities, "here comes the pain train, baby" and "pain don't hurt"!
If there is every a time when you wonder why you do something, Write down your pros and cons. Most of the time, your pros will always win out if it is especially something you love. Stay safe. Stay on left side against traffic on your runs and with traffic on your biking obeying the rules of the road at all times. Run hard, run often, and never spend too much money on gear that doesn't fit well and doesn't make you look absolutely fab.
And most of all, stay healthy!
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Rain
I am sad today. Not for myself but for all of us. It is raining this morning so hard and yet it was sunny, warm and clear just a few hours ago.
We all sit here and think about the uncertainty of our next breath. How do I want to breath? I would rather breath with the warmth of the sun on my skin instead of the rain. Even if the rain is cleansing the dirt and oil so that my body can breath better when the sun returns, it still isn't my favorite weather. And it is so hard to breath with rain drowning your face. Smashing into your eyes. Drawing your hair down on your face. The bones, tendons, and muscles want to compress to stay warm. The expansion is not the same as on a sunny day.
I look at the forecast and know that tomorrow will be a better day but how do I breath today in the earthy tears that fall. Right now I stay inside and breath the dry inside while I watch through the windows of my world to the outside. I turn on my lights to imitate the sun. It helps some but not the same. Every now and then, I open the door and take in the stormy weather outside. The rain touches my fingers.
So today, I will go outside and occasionally breath rain.
During the moist breathing, I keep in mind that this is only a day, an hour, a second. This second of breath, I take note that I am alive and have the opportunity to smile and not be angry.
When I was young, I remember moments where I went to church with my mother and other family members. Those moments didn't stick with me as much as the moments when I went to church with friends. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed my religious education from my grandmother and the family church. But when I actually went to another church because of invitation or whatever, I think I wanted to see what it is about. I don't ever remember any negatives. The main message I received was love. Yes, some churches were different in appearance and their acceptance was varied but the spiritual love was always apparent.
The moments I am experiencing today are cold and I shutter. The news is always splashing into my face and dripping negatives across my eyes. My body feels the fear as it constricts with the thoughts of what would I do if I were faced with the enemy's terror in my next breath. The claustrophobic thoughts of how wrong a group has gone keeps my thoughts on guard. My weapon no longer resides locked away but always within reach.
I don't ever remember feeling this urgency to be prepared.
So how do I breath in the raining of today world's events? I remember that with this rain, there will be sun again.
Is your world weeping? Mine is. I still smile and know that this is a small moment in time. I hope you can too. Draw in a breath, release it. Smile. Draw in a breath, release it, Smile.
We all sit here and think about the uncertainty of our next breath. How do I want to breath? I would rather breath with the warmth of the sun on my skin instead of the rain. Even if the rain is cleansing the dirt and oil so that my body can breath better when the sun returns, it still isn't my favorite weather. And it is so hard to breath with rain drowning your face. Smashing into your eyes. Drawing your hair down on your face. The bones, tendons, and muscles want to compress to stay warm. The expansion is not the same as on a sunny day.
I look at the forecast and know that tomorrow will be a better day but how do I breath today in the earthy tears that fall. Right now I stay inside and breath the dry inside while I watch through the windows of my world to the outside. I turn on my lights to imitate the sun. It helps some but not the same. Every now and then, I open the door and take in the stormy weather outside. The rain touches my fingers.
So today, I will go outside and occasionally breath rain.
During the moist breathing, I keep in mind that this is only a day, an hour, a second. This second of breath, I take note that I am alive and have the opportunity to smile and not be angry.
When I was young, I remember moments where I went to church with my mother and other family members. Those moments didn't stick with me as much as the moments when I went to church with friends. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed my religious education from my grandmother and the family church. But when I actually went to another church because of invitation or whatever, I think I wanted to see what it is about. I don't ever remember any negatives. The main message I received was love. Yes, some churches were different in appearance and their acceptance was varied but the spiritual love was always apparent.
The moments I am experiencing today are cold and I shutter. The news is always splashing into my face and dripping negatives across my eyes. My body feels the fear as it constricts with the thoughts of what would I do if I were faced with the enemy's terror in my next breath. The claustrophobic thoughts of how wrong a group has gone keeps my thoughts on guard. My weapon no longer resides locked away but always within reach.
I don't ever remember feeling this urgency to be prepared.
So how do I breath in the raining of today world's events? I remember that with this rain, there will be sun again.
Is your world weeping? Mine is. I still smile and know that this is a small moment in time. I hope you can too. Draw in a breath, release it. Smile. Draw in a breath, release it, Smile.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Lifting Leaves
It is interesting to find myself enjoying lifting leaves out of my pool. Who knew that the act of taking a net on a pole, pushing it into the water and skimming leaves would be so relaxing. If I were twenty, I probably would hate it. But at this age, the moments are peaceful.
There is an art to it in case you didn't know. And I am not sure I have yet perfected it. You see, when you have leaves falling in your pool, most of the time they lie on the surface just floating and circling the pool as the filter runs until they reach the skimmer. That is usually the best time to get them out. I hold the net just right on the surface top and allow the leaves to float in as I walk around the pool. Every now and then, I empty the net. In the beginning, I would empty to one spot on the deck and then ultimately trash can them but now I just shake them on the grass. Sooner or later, the lawn mower will pick them up along with all the others that didn't make it to the pool.
When times passes and the leaves have found their way to the bottom, it then takes a new type of finesse to retrieve the leaves. The former owners left us some old nets, poles, brushes, etc but when I took "pool school", the teacher showed me his fancy beveled net. So with this new net and a little patience, you can coerce the leaves to dance off the bottom and then you circle back and scoop them up. It takes time dependent on amount of leaves.
Bottom line, I am not saying it is going to always be relaxing but for now I am not dealing with diagnosis codes, customer issues, rules and regulations, or having to think about right dose, right time, right patient, right site, right drug. The stressful thoughts are gone for now allowing me to focus on just removing the leaves on top quickly or the ones that have managed to dive deeper.
What am I learning? Maybe nothing more than how to keep the pool clean but I think there is more to it if you dive deeper. The easy messes in life can quickly be scooped up and taken away. I don't even have to tidy them up in a neat little can. I can just lift and let go. The harder issues in life may take some diving. Some dancing. Some finesse to scoop out but they too can just be tossed over the edge into the grass for a later mowing. With both, there is an action to be done.
If I never remove the leaves, yes the filter might take care of some but soon there would not be clear clean water to relax by.
Hope you find your moment.
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