Rain

I am sad today. Not for myself but for all of us. It is raining this morning so hard and yet it was sunny, warm and clear just a few hours ago.

We all sit here and think about the uncertainty of our next breath. How do I want to breath? I would rather breath with the warmth of the sun on my skin instead of the rain. Even if the rain is cleansing the dirt and oil so that my body can breath better when the sun returns, it still isn't my favorite weather.  And it is so hard to breath with rain drowning your face. Smashing into your eyes. Drawing your hair down on your face. The bones, tendons, and muscles want to compress to stay warm. The expansion is not the same as on a sunny day.

I look at the forecast and know that tomorrow will be a better day but how do I breath today in the earthy tears that fall. Right now I stay inside and breath the dry inside while I watch through the windows of my world to the outside. I turn on my lights to imitate the sun. It helps some but not the same. Every now and then, I open the door and take in the stormy weather outside. The rain touches my fingers.

So today, I will go outside and occasionally breath rain.

During the moist breathing, I keep in mind that this is only a day, an hour, a second. This second of breath, I take note that I am alive and have the opportunity to smile and not be angry.

When I was young, I remember moments where I went to church with my mother and other family members. Those moments didn't stick with me as much as the moments when I went to church with friends. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed my religious education from my grandmother and the family church. But when I actually went to another church because of invitation or whatever, I think I wanted to see what it is about. I don't ever remember any negatives. The main message I received was love. Yes, some churches were different in appearance and their acceptance was varied but the spiritual love was always apparent.

The moments I am experiencing today are cold and I shutter. The news is always splashing into my face and dripping negatives across my eyes. My body feels the fear as it constricts with the thoughts of what would I do if I were faced with the enemy's terror in my next breath. The claustrophobic thoughts of how wrong a group has gone keeps my thoughts on guard. My weapon no longer resides locked away but always within reach.

I don't ever remember feeling this urgency to be prepared.

So how do I breath in the raining of today world's events? I remember that with this rain, there will be sun again.

Is your world weeping? Mine is. I still smile and know that this is a small moment in time. I hope you can too. Draw in a breath, release it. Smile. Draw in a breath, release it, Smile.