Friday, December 28, 2018

A Hug to Remember

Not 'love actually' but more....

My travel back to my Aussie home after meeting Henry T  was like most travels. Tiresome. The 30 hours of auto, shuttles, planes, trains, waiting lines and delays wasn't the worse experience of my life. Nothing compares to the climb up a Kodiak mountain range during the fall in high grass  praying for dear life that a bear wasn't in the thick looking for yummy dollar (that's another story) as well. It is just that travel days in general just make you tired. Plus you know the effects of strain on you body will not immediately go away. Every now and then a strange and wonderful moment takes place. Recognizing it at first is difficult because of the probabilities is that most moments during a travel day are just norms of unrelenting dramas that you just take a drink  or an ibuprofen to make go away.

I had a moment that I cannot stop thinking about and I am trying to allow the moment to stay with me. It was so simple a moment but yet so warm, so inviting that it left me wanting more.

It was a hug.

My journey to the hug started long ago. I still haven't decided when but I know it must have been long ago because I can't remember this type of hug from a complete stranger before. Yes, hugs have come and gone. Most are wonderful due to the people embracing me. Some are casual, almost uncomfortable, last too long and non-warranted. The travel day hug was one to remember. Almost like the hug unsolicited from a small child or maybe the gratitude hug given after a gift exchange when you just made someone's day better. Still, even those hugs which are memorable are not of the same caliber. Of course the rating is all subjective.

The time sitting at terminal B, gate 133 at LAX extended from just an hour wait to almost a 3 hours. The attendants at the gate kept us informed with each delay. First there was a departure delay for the Brisbane flight sitting at the gate. My flight to Sidney wasn't even listed on the gate monitor. It was a little confusing because I recognized others that were to fly at the same time just lingering around as well. So of course, I walked the concourse. Finally when that plane left and I saw the Sidney flight listed, I found a seat  in between a few people on a large comfy ottoman in the middle of the concourse. Every now and then we would all turn our heads in the direction of the attendants announcing several times each time a new delay took place. Then came the waiting for the plane to arrive, and the getting those off the plane delay. With each announcement, people were starting to lay on the floors near the gate desk. The area started to look like a mini tent city without the tents.

As those of us on the comfy ottoman waited and watched, we began to converse the small talk of travelers. What takes you to Sidney? How long will you be there? Oh, you live there...for how long? Small talk. One of the young girls to my left was drawing so I commented on her art and showed her mine via my blog. Here was the beginning of my hug without even a clue it had begun. Our connection was simple. Just two people with about 45 years difference sharing a love for drawing. She was very good. Then her mother beside her began to engage me.

It seems that as though most of us were paying close attention to when our flight would board and take us down under that there was a family of four dealing with whether they had a seat or not. Here it was midnight and this mother was sitting calmly watching her 24 year old talking to the attendants at the gate. Her two daughters somewhere between 12 to 16 were being relaxed even though the evident tension of the situation was seen on the mother. I decided to ask. The story was that they bought their tickets from a private agent but when they got to the airport, they were not assigned seats and the plane evidently full. The next day flight was even full. Here she was taking her children to see her sister living down under for 17 days and now was being told they may not have a seat.

I said I am so sorry.....but then I changed my verbiage changing it to I am so sad this is happening to you. Saying 'I am sorry' implies I did something but I had no participation in this event. At this point I decided to just listen and encourage the mother that it may work out because it looked as though the son was doing well being an advocate for his family. He wasn't smiling much....

At some point I disengaged. I had too. There was nothing I could do for them but just think of them in prayer. At some point, they called for passengers to board. I looked around and did not see the family. Maybe they got a hotel, maybe they returned home, maybe they got a seat. I just felt bad for them but also knew I had a 13 hour plane ride and a 3 hour train ride back home ahead of me.

Selfish.....maybe.

The plane was stuffed to capacity. It was long but I slept. My neighbors were two millennials who were probably not ready to be chatty with an old lady from the U.S. The young lady to my right hugged herself up to the window like I was a leaper. She looked as though everything she owned was snugged into every crevasse she could use as long as the attendants didn't see it.  A big hoodie jacket surrounded her. Piercing, tattoos, jewelry adorned her. Not once did I ever see her leave her seat during the entire flight. Yes, I got up several times but she was always hugging the window and asleep when I returned. The young man on the left was kind but kept his earphones in. Didn't say much and helped me when I asked him to grab my bag above or put it away. Believe me, I hate asking anyone to do anything for me, but this was cramped confines and no room for even a purse under the seat in front of you. He slept hard. The first time I needed to get up, I couldn't wake him. I finally grabbed the seats on both front and back of us and leaped. After all, I am an Iron-woman.....

We landed. As I was collecting my things, eating the tangerines quickly that I wasn't suppose to bring into Australia, and changing my SIM card out on my phone.....I started to think about the family who just wanted to come to Australia to visit family for the holidays.

Then as I came off the plane, and turned the first corner......there they were. The mother saw me coming and stood up from where she had been sitting. The son just smiled the biggest smile that I have seen in a long time. They all had got on board and actually had better seats than mine. As I got closer to them, I yelled out...."you made it!!!" The mother came up to me and just hugged me. I don't think I will ever forget that hug. Simple. Close.

Now, You might be wondering why that moment was so special. Doesn't everyone meet strangers and have exchanges like this.....

Not in today's world.

The thing that made it unique for me was that I opened myself up to a family that didn't look like people I have been around most of my life. If I had met them anywhere else, I may have been weary of them. They were of middle eastern descent. Stereotypical looking immigrants from possibly a country that many of the people I know including myself may judge wrongly. I may still do this to many degrees.

But for this one moment.....in time....in a situation that was beyond our making.....we engaged. And I will never forget her face nor her son's smile. I did not write this to create a discussion on race or bigotry. I wrote this to acknowledge my own personal failings as well as my continued discovery that I can be better than what social media, news outlets and others try to label me.