Let Go and Breathe In

Another moment of letting go came up this weekend.

This time it was so surreal and easy to let go while I was reminded of the words used by myself and by others...I can only change my own thoughts, words, and deeds. I have no control over what someone else thinks, speaks, or does. With that, I tell my story of letting it go and not what I think the anyone else story may be but how I feel today after experiencing one sad moment among a multitude of wonderful moments. 

Am I happy? Yes! There is not a time in which I was more happy. Thinking on my life, the journey has gone through many ups and downs like most people. The handling of those ups and downs might be what gives that peace that is evident today. Tears came through many downs. Even bad behavior at times and probably acting out in ways that if a video of past bad moments existed, I would cringe with embarrassment. 

Throughout my journey, when something bad happened, did I handle every situation right? No, probably not. But can I change what I did. No, probably not. Can I try to do better? Yes! Can I forgive myself? Already have and here is why....

Happiness comes from knowing that I am a wonderful creation that continues to grow with every moment that is given. It is a happiness that can be shared but doesn't have to be. It just exists. Like air, you can decide to breath it in or move away and breath in a space that this happiness doesn't occupy. What I found this weekend is that my happiness collided with several others that are just as happy and at peace as I am. There were so many moments of nothing but smiles, hugs, and sharing what we remembered of each other. Many times there were no real discussions but just moments of love. 

So even during moments of happiness, a breath of sadness may invade. I compare it to walking on a beach, smelling the salty air, feeling the breeze and sun on my skin...then all of a sudden a dead fishy smell inhabits the air and a nasty sand gnat decides to take a bite. What do you do? You smack your skin and move on down the beach or get off the beach completely. Many times you won't even kill the gnat and it just moves on to bite another. But you still smacked yourself and you still may have a little red spot that has to heal. The next time you go to that beach, you won't forget your bug oil so that you can breath it all in without getting bitten. Yeah, you might wind up near a dead fishy smell again but eventually there will always be a beach section that is just what want. Breezy, calm, and sunny and the water just right to take a dip and submerge yourself in bliss. 

I can't change the weather or the dead fishy smells, or even the existence of sand gnats. I can only change where I walk on this beach and how I prepare for it. After much reflection, talks with a few of my favorite people, and remembering what kind of air I want to breath in....the view was much more peaceful, sunny, and fresh. 

Let go and breathe in the air that makes you happy. Any sting or bite can easily be healed or avoided with the right prep.

Squirrel

Squirrel....
My attention span varies these days. I find myself working on a project and I wonder into the next room to put something away from that project and then I squirrel. Another idea pops comes into focus that is much more important. I am not sure where I get this from and not really sure I exhibited this characteristic while I was employed. I will apologize now to my former employers and co-workers. I probably drove them crazy.

But it is really a negative? Maybe my husband can be the authority on this answer since he is the recipient of my squirreling moments. And as we all have heard or experienced it, married people tend to start behaving alike so maybe he just is squirreling as well and will have no comment on mine. Just beware of the moments if you happened to stray into my path.

The last time I squirreled was today. I was looking up something online. Now I can't even remember what I was originally was searching for but within 30 minutes I found myself drooling over homes for sale in Tuscany. Now how did I get there? Oh, I remember....Facebook > Tiny Homes post > Beach Homes on Zillow near me > then Italy web sites showing villas for sale. Naturally drawn click by click. Squirreling may just be another name for day dreaming. Thinking of things when stress in no longer a part of your life.

There are activities that reduce the amount of squirreling I engage in. Such as a good book. Since entering my sabbatical, I have picked up reading again. The books range from philosophical to romantic intrigue keeping my attention and allowing me to relax and let go. Also there have been a few television shows that Chris and I have been able to marathon through several episodes.

Door Bell and a signature to FedEx

Okay, three hours later and many squirrel moments but I accomplished some cleaning, cooking, washing Bella for the 2nd time today (that is another story).

Do you have squirrel moments? Or do you have just a busy day that keeps you from squirreling or maybe even day dreaming. I just looked over my pc and noticed a beautiful heron in flight over the lake landing across the way. Standing there in the sun, calm, waiting.....oh, and there's a squirrel leaping off the tree.